For mental health awareness week......
I have two children with neurological challenges and subsequent behavioral issues. I am parenting them the best I can with love, patience, structure, consequences and rewards, direct instruction and reinforcement, outside help and prayers. Their behaviors stem from bio-neuro-chemical problems in the brain, but how much of that is due to genetics and how much of it is environmental we may never know. I have questioned everything. I have worried about the impact of the high levels of cortisol (stress hormone) in my body when I was pregnant with my daughter and wonder what, if any, impact that may have had on her. For example, the work I did and the subsequent nightmares I had when I was pregnant were so intensely terrifying, I worry whether my personal experiences at that time might have impacted her developing little brain. I worry about the moment when she was 16 months old and she was terrified by a family member. I worry about the falls she took off the bed as a tiny baby...
My eldest daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, along with the co-morbidity of attention deficit disorder (ADHD), anxiety, and aspergers disorder. She is and always has been a handful and a half. Her diagnosis of ADHD came with no surprise in late kindergarten, but when she continued to have increasingly violent and prolonged rages lasting hours and leaving a mind numbing trail of destruction, I sought further help. In first grade her fears and anxieties stood out from her peers, and her rigidity began to impact her ability to effectively function in school. In second grade she began working with a narrative therapist because she LOVES words, reading, and writing... BUT she couldn't identify or talk about feelings or emotions. In third grade she was assessed for bipolar disorder due to the severity of her mood swings and level of aggressive destructiveness. In fifth grade she was finally assessed for aspergers disorder.
Now, at age 11, after trying nearly a dozen different medications with minimal efficacy, she has been taking Lithium for nearly four months and the results are profound. She is happy again, she is beginning to want to play with others, she asks rather than demands, she is beginning to problem solve when there is a need, she can respond with empathy to others, she is learning to engage in conversations appropriately when she needs something or others need something of her, she demonstrates affection and is beginning to seek out affection from parents appropriately, she makes up jokes, she is even loving playing outside! There are so many wonderful elements to her personality that are reemerging; it is as if my little girl is back from years of hiding somewhere! She is beginning to demonstrate on her own the skills we have been trying to work on with her for so many years; sharing, turn taking, asking for help, seeking advice, asking permission, waiting, responding with empathy, following through, etc.
I guess I didn't realize how difficult it had become....
For my son, I worry about the fall he took from a ride on toy as a toddler, hitting the back of his head on a steel pipe in the basement. I worry about the impact on his little brain as an infant, when he landed on his face on the driveway, after being toppled out of his car-seat when the car-seat handle released and he wasn't buckled in. I worry about the daily torment and unpredictable interactions and responses from his sister.
I question whether his issues are exclusively neuro-biological, as I have constantly wondered how much of his behavior is symptomatic of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and/or subsequent anxiety due to the environment he was developing in during his early years. In fact, I understand the DSM-V, scheduled to be released in late 2013, may address this very issue of early developmental trauma. Regardless, due to the symptoms he's displayed to date, he has been given the diagnosis of bipolar disorder. The first psychologist he saw identified him as having a pervasive developmental delay, with co-morbid inattentive attention deficit disorder, along with his intense anxiety (which has at times been debilitating for him). Most recently, the assessments conducted with the developmental pediatrician for aspergers disorder revealed that although he displays many symptoms of aspergers spectrum disorder his social skills and other attributes negate those factors; therefore, he does not meet the qualifications for an aspergers diagnosis. The developmental pediatrician who did the testing did state that the results of their assessments seem to substantiate the initial diagnoses of ADD and anxiety with serious indicators for depression.
I just wish there could be a way to wave a magic wand and know exactly what is making it difficult for them, and fix it, so that I can help them though. I want to do everything I can to close the gap between what they are capable of and what they are currently able to do! They both have tremendous potential, intense gifts, and incredibly terrific personalities! I love my children to the ends of the earth and know that they are destined for great things. I also know they have a LOT to overcome!!!!!!!!
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